Next time, Be sure to be sued

Time was 7:38 PM.

‘I have to start now to catch the 7:48 metro. Only then I can take the direct bus. I can see Ram in another 1 hour or so.’

I packed my bag and got ready to leave from office. This new 9 hour at work place restriction was taking a toll on me. Being a new mother, things were becoming more difficult.

When I took the lift and reached the main gate the time was already 7:42. My feet picked up speed and I started running towards the metro station, which was 7 or 8 buildings away. I was not “Bolt” for sure. I would rather say, if any athletes looked at my so called running, they would shoot me to death.

I passed few autos, few share autos, few two-wheeler and a whole lot of people, most of them staring at me. I ignored their looks and continued to “run”. I crossed a petrol bunk and from a distance could see a guy who was for sure peering at me, extensively. My feet dropped speed a little and I walked past this guy. He was still scrutinizing me.

Was something wrong?
Stupidly, I touched my face; checked whether my bindi was in place; was my dupatta in place??
Oh… so, it was this. He was staring at my b**bs.




Dear dirty gentlemen,

I'm a women. I belong to the group of people who contribute to 45% of the population. Like other women, I have b**bs. It is the same as what your mother and your sister has. Nothing different to be peered at.

I'm a new mother and I lactate. I'm a working woman and I work far from my home. I have schedules to keep and time restrictions to follow. I'm capable of running (though it would be classified as “very fast walk”) and when a woman runs some shakes do happen. Thanks to the pregnancy for all the changes in my body.

But these constraints are not going to change anything for a me. Neither the metro holds on for another minute nor does the company lets me leave early from work. I'm not a super human and I cannot go invisible. I cannot afford a private vehicle because I’m not rich. Even if I can, it would be a two wheeler. If I’m taking a ride from office, the roads do not cover up the holes for me to drive smooth without a shake. There are bumps on the road (or is it road among bumps??!!) and my body would shake even then.

So just shut your eyes and move off from my sight. Next time I see you peering at my assets, be sure to be sued!!

Yours b**bfully,
Woman

Deep down

Guy: “Hey…”
Girl: “Hey Hi… How are you?”

Guy: “I am good. How about you?”
Girl: “Good too. How is your wife? And your son?”

Guy: “They are doing very fine. How about yours?”
Girl: “They are good too. And how come you are here?”

Guy: “I got transferred.”
Girl: “Oh, is it? That is great. You will get to stay with your parents!!” (And, may be…)

Guy: “True. My parents are very happy about it” (And, may be…)
Girl: “How are they?” (It was for them, that all this happened…)

Guy: “Yes. They are fine.” (All these happened only for them…)
Girl: “So, What else??” (Say something. Talk something more. I don’t want this to end…)

Guy: “You tell me.” (Please! Please! Talk something.)
Girl: “You have put on weight.” (Is it? Not sure. How else to continue?)

Guy: “You too.” (Ooops! May be I should have refused and it would extend this conversation? Oh no!!)
Girl: “Yes. I just delivered. So, it is obvious that I have put on weight.” (And?? That’s all?)

Guy: “So, then?”

He paused, took a deep breath and looked straight into her eyes. Deep enough to touch the hidden memories.

Tears rolled down; Lips curled and flattened; Eye-lids fluttered; Hands shivered; Hearts pumped to the fullest; Breaths became heavier; Stomachs churned;

They exchanged every bit of their left over love and affection. They spoon-fed each other the sweetest part of their lives till date – their memories. They conveyed that they missed each other to the moon and back. They flew back in unison to the days they lived / loved.

They conveyed that they were sorry for not holding on longer; repented for not fighting back stronger; regretted that they misjudged their love for each other.

Their eyes spoke more than what they could talk aloud.

“PAM PAAAAM PAAAAAAAM” A honking truck brought them back into the present.

Guy: “Bye. Take care.”
Girl: “You too.”

They walked past each other in opposite directions just like how life had taken them. Now there was no looking back and brooding. Nothing could be done now to set things right. Life was past those stages. They had things to do for the people who were dependent on them.

But...
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“I will love you forever. Deep down; All for myself and no one would know. You were the love of my life and will remain to be one till my last breath.”

Yes, I’m IMPERFECT

Dear Society,

Hope this letter finds you in your best state. First of all, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me write this; if not for you this wouldn’t have happened. May be you don't know me, as I'm one among the too many. Yes, I’m the imperfect.

I am not a great child to my parents. I have brought them lot of pain, emotionally and psychologically. I have made them sell their property for my studies. I have made them spend nights and days making me understand my curriculum. I have made them search for stuff that I had lost during the day, real expensive stuff. I have made them run to the hospital with me.

Yes, I’m imperfect.

I am not a good student. I didn’t score great in my exams. I never had a centum in maths. I have neglected many chapters during exams. I have not practiced previous year question papers. I have performed bad in many tests and failed in few. I was never the class topper. I didn’t clear my degree with distinction.

Yes, I’m imperfect.

I am not a great employee. I have skipped the accepted timelines of issues. I have crashed the servers. I have updated wrong data into the database. I have taken offs without informing. I have tailgated many times. I have not kept up with the expectations at work.

Yes, I’m imperfect.

I am not a great art student. I have skipped my art classes. I have faked practice. I have lost competitions. I have not excelled in my field. I have performed badly at stages. I have taken my teachers for granted and not respected their advice.

Yes, I’m imperfect.

I am not a good daughter in law. I do not cook like my mother in law. I do not keep up with the time always. I do not do the dishes regularly. I am not available at home all the time. I do not serve food or drink to where you are seated. I do not dress up in saree always. I dress up in night clothes even during the day. I wake up late. I don’t fold clothes every day.

Yes, I’m imperfect.

I am not a good mother. I don’t be with my child always. I did whine about breastfeeding. I complain about getting up multiple times during the night. I feel like slapping my child when his tantrums are extreme. I complain about not being able to have the ‘me’ time. I do feel bad cleaning his pee and poop. I do not do the washing of his dirty clothes with my full heart.

Yes, I’m imperfect.

I am not a good citizen. I have travelled without tickets. Not respected signals. I have littered the roads. I have skipped voting.

Yes, I’m imperfect.

I am not the beauty type. I have blemishes on my face. I have pimples and facial hair. I am not of the perfect figure. I don’t look awesome in any attire. I am shapeless.

Yes, I’m imperfect.

I am not the super type. I am not a person whom the rest of the society can look up to. I am no good. I make mistakes. I am not excellent. I don’t even know if my birth is worth. Yes, I accept it. But I am striving hard to improve. The intention to improve is burning in my nerves. I am trying hard and working my ass off. Yes, I am putting in my heart and soul and what not to what I am doing. Value me for who I’m. Don’t degrade me for who I’m not.

More than anything, I am who I am and I have my own milestones. Do not rate me with your scale. I am running my race. Don’t expect me to run yours. You never know what I undergo/went. As science explains, what you see is just the tip of the ice berg; 98% in invisible. Just because it is not seen doesn’t mean it isn’t there! Beware!

Thanks in advance for your understanding.
(I know that you didn’t and you won’t as you don’t want to!)

Yours sincerely,
The IMPERFECTIONIST!!

Movies

In the past few days, I got to watch a few movies, which was much unexpected though. Thanks to my mother and my in-laws for making it possible by their own ways. (My in-laws are out of town; I’m at my mother’s place. My mother wanted to keep her grandson with him and hence proved!). These movies did leave something in me. So, I wanted to share my views about them. This article is not a full-fledged movie review but somewhere close.

Let me begin with the movie “Martian”.

I had started watching this movie few weeks back but hadn’t finished it. The movie revolves around much of Sci-Fi stuff. Not touching it – I’m not a Science person. But, the hero – “Mark Watney” (MW), who was left back in Mars by his crew mistakenly, would make a statement towards the end of the movie. “Wherever I go, I’m the first. It is a strange feeling”.

I didn’t know why, this dialog pricked me. I wasn’t able to identify why the dialog felt so ‘known’. I’m not on Mars; I’m not alone; but I have had this feeling very frequently. Why so??

In the climax, Melissa (the captain of the crew) will decide to go to bring MW from his launch vehicle. She would showcase her mental picture with one statement – “I will go on and bring MW; can’t afford to lose my crew members”. It showed how much she valued her crew over herself. If every leader values his team’s growth more than his own, we might be having a better environment at work.

In the last scene, when MW trains students, what he explains in the theory of life. When we have problems, we have two choices to make; solve them or let it trouble. If you decide to live with it, it is the end. Else, take one problem; solve it; take the next and solve that too and then you reach home someday! Such a simple way of handling life. I was indeed moved by the exlpaination!

Next in the list is “Uppu karuvadu”. It is a ‘Radha mohan’ movie and it had her touch throughout.

The movie revolves around 3 youngsters who aim to flourish in the cine field. One of the supporting actors is ‘Manja’. He is projected as the ‘right hand’ of a Don + Good Man. Manja would suggest changes in the dialog, which would be a little unacceptable for the hero (the youngster who aims to be the director). At a particular scene, Manja will end up changing the entire scene. In another scene, the youngsters would misjudge his exposure to love and he would revert with a love story of his own. Scene after scene he would nail the fact that appearances are deceptive. In the climax, he would end up dominating stage over the 3 youngsters. He did leave behind his traces in the film.

Another character in the movie is ‘Uma’, who is the want-to-be-director’s friend turned lover. She is projected as a strong actor who is capable of putting her soul to acting. She becomes the heroine replacing the Don + Good Man’s daughter. But after the climax, in the ‘happily ever after’ section of the movie, the narrator would say, “Uma doesn’t act these days as she is Mrs. want-to-be-director”.

In the beginning of the movie, there would be a mention that, in spite of the fact that Uma’s mother is a supporting artist in the cine field, Uma isn’t interested in acting. But still, the narration would have been better if it was something like, “Uma doesn’t act these days, as she doesn’t like it”.
Just because a woman is married, doesn’t mean she has to give up on her dreams!

Having made that statement, next in my discussion is going to be the movie “Ki & ka” – A Balki’s movie and it has his touch all over. Kia is behind her dreams which takes her around the world. Kabir dreams of a good home and wants to follow his mother in being a great home maker. As per our Indian tradition, the roles and responsibilities are swapped between a guy and a girl. Here the girl is the bread winner of the family and the guy rules the home. Kabir also makes Kia understand that home-making is nothing less than an art and it needs great deal of patience and sacrifice to be a home maker; needs guts to become happy with the victory of somebody else. He also explains that, just because he is an IIM graduate doesn't mean that he has to pick his father's business that he doesn't like. Also, that a degree doesn't stop him from being a home-maker.

When there comes a need for more money, when the house-owner ask them to vacate, Kabir goes about calculating and making decisions to pitch in to bring in cash – just like any other home-maker would do. Kabir does stand as the most ideal husband, any career-loving woman would dream of. There is not even a bit of ego in him and he withstands all the embarrassments that are bestowed upon him by the society and even Kia herself. There were scenes which picture-perfectly portrayed the embarrassments and pricks a home-maker would undergo; be it male or a female. And in the climax, when Kia's mother speaks about how such things happen, the bread-winner's mental picture does become very clear.

This film is about reversing roles and breaking the stereo types. What Balki has portrayed in the movie is a situation towards which our society should move in the future – not about switching roles, but about choosing whatever an individual wants to do. Kia and Kabir do what they like and hence they flourish and excel in it.

All the movies that I watched, had a point to make and they were different from the usual action / romantic films. The time I spent on them, did add value to me.

Unbelievable But True!

Once I boarded the bus towards office that day, I dozed off within minutes. My son and the household chores had engulfed my energy completely. As I was on fast, I couldn't munch on a snack too!

After few minutes, I opened my eyes and saw that I was already very close to where I had to get down (Actually my workplace is an hour away from my home; so deep was my nap :P). I packed my stuff and got off the bus in a hurry. But something felt odd. I crossed the road and went into my office campus. The security at the gates asked for my ID (I generally wear them when it is time to get off; but hadn't that day, as the bus stop was very close).

I put my hands in and located my ID; showed it to the security and wore it.

My instincts suggested to look for my purse. I did and it was missing!

I closed my eyes for a minute and tried to analyze if I was picked or I missed it. The bus which I traveled was very sparsely occupied and hence the possibility of a thief was unduly possible. But still, as I had dozed of very soon and deep, I wasn't pretty sure though. But, I wanted to give it a try!

I located on my phone, the MTC helpline number. (Thanks to my habit of reading the newspapers, inculcated by my mother. Few months before, there was an article about extension of MTC bus helplines to be working 24x7. I had noted down the number then.)

There were 3 numbers; two were out of order. The last one was my hope!

The call did get CONNECTED. The lady on the other side wished me goodness and inquired what was wrong.

Lady: "How can I help you?"

Me: "I missed my purse in the bus."

Lady: "Do you know the registration number of the bus?"

Me: "No"

Lady: "What bus was it?"

Me: "170L. Running from XYZ to ABC."

Lady: "OK. when did you get off the bus?"

Me: "3-4 mins before."

Lady: "OK. Where are you?"

Me: "Olympia Tech park."

Lady: "Keep your phone available. I will update the status in few mins."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The call was disconnected. Not sure, if the call was going to be fruitful. Within a minute, I received a call. The number that flashed on the screen, confirmed that it was a customer care call. I rejected it.

After a few more minutes that seemed to me like hours, I received a call and the same lady spoke.

Lady: "I'm calling from MTC helpline. We have located your purse. You can receive it from the conductor of bus 70. Go to the Tech Park stop towards Ashok pillar. The bus will reach the stop in 5-10 minutes."

Me: "...."

Lady turned angel: "Hello?" The voice sounded sweeter than honey!!

Me: "Thanks madam. Thanks a lot."

Lady turned angel: "Thank you for calling MTC helpline. Have a good day!"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Indeed I was going to have a good day. My face was full of smile. The next instant, it struck me; I might not get the purse in its "full form". In spite of it, I eagerly awaited the arrival of my purse. A bus with the number "70" came into the bus stop. The conductor peeped out of the window and he immediately located me. I was the only one in the stop.

I looked at him with anxiety.

Conductor: "What does your purse look like?"

Me: A smile popped up on my lips. "A pink one. With a doll painted on it."

He lifted my purse. There it was!! Wow! That was unbelievable!!

Conductor turned God: "Do you have any ID?"

Me: "My SCDL ID card; in the top flap". My heart beat was raising.

He opened the purse; located the ID; scanned my face an compared it with my ID card; closed the purse and handed it over to me!

Whistle blew. Brooom. The bus moved out.

I opened the purse with extreme anxiety. Everything was at its place. All set and clean.
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Miracles do happen!

Giving it back!

How many of us make it a point to give it back?

Yes, we do give it back in double intensity, when it comes to abuses. But otherwise?

If we are corporate employees, we do have clubs which work for betterment of the society – The CSR clubs. But, are we being a part of it? How many times have we seen such mails and just moved them into a random folder or deleted them? If the suggested options were once in a while, often and always, 85% of the votes would fall only into the ‘ALWAYS’ category.
Are we being selfish by not giving back? To the society; to our family; to ourselves; to Mother Nature. Are we giving at all?

This state of selfishness is backed by the sense of ‘taking things for granted’. We assume that, if we don’t do, somebody else would do it for us; not understanding that fact that everyone has a part to play. Everyone holds a part of the jig-saw puzzle. When we don’t put in our piece, even if everybody else in the world has put in theirs, the puzzle would stay unfinished.

Giving back is a great thing to do. It means that we understand that we have taken something and also know the value what was taken.

When we say giving back to the society or Mother Nature, we have a path to pick. Start participating in CSR activities and contribute for the betterment of our society and Mother Nature.

What about giving back to our family?
How many times have we appreciated our mothers, wives, husbands, fathers, siblings?
How many of us took time to appreciate our kids for something that they did?
A pat, an instant ‘WOW’, an immediate hug are all gestures that can bring great changes in mindset. These gestures show that we understand their trouble and value their effort.

And…
Giving back to self??
Take a break from monotonous schedules…
Go on a long road trip…
Take a ‘sleep’ weekend…
Listen to music…
Pick up a hobby and pursue it…
And always love what you do; or do what you love!