My confession

My confession:

Learnings are a part of our life. They get in us something that we did not possess till-date, be it good or bad. They tune us and make us something new. Last 24 months of my life have got in me, most desperately necessary changes, which I ought to carry throughout my life. Brand new learnings from few special ones.

I was not at all sure!

What is life? What life could be? What should I do with it?

How I am supposed to respond to life? Should I do something about it?


I was very emotionally fragile and confused. I remained in my teens mentally, even after entering my 30s. I was crude, unprocessed, un-molded, and un-groomed; as someone who cannot continue live as the same as they grow, either professionally or actually. I considered being the same, the best what I could do for myself.

Zina Harrington, the founder of ‘UnBusy’ movement quotes frequently: “Ditch Stuff. Live Life.”

She propagates three rules for better life.

1. Changing our relationship with LIFE.

2. Changing our relationship with STUFF.

3. Changing our relationship with MONEY and its source.



Point 2 and 3 were never points of concern for me. I had always been following minimalism not actually knowing what it meant when it came to STUFF. Money, not a great concern again; I was neither attached nor detached. I was at norm. However, my problem was my relationship with LIFE.

Ufff…

Looking back, it seems like a great roller coaster.

Life by itself is very uncertain, my clumsiness with it complicated it further, and it sat right in front of me as moron. It was neither easy nor great. It was neither interesting nor acceptable. Day in and out, I pushed myself through the bland and monotonous life schedule which ditched me to boredom further. It felt like I was too busy every minute but every night used to close down on me with more void. I had dived so deeper into incompleteness, trying to be what I could never be. I missed what I had to see, messed it all up. I forgot to laugh and live.

When I was trying to understand my relationship with life, the second part of the third rule broke further. I indeed started losing track of what I have to do at work and once I lost the pace, I never could speed back to be at par with my mates. It further hitched me to clumsiness and the professional fall became steeper.

Zina insists on great friends at work especially for women.
“Every woman needs at least one friend whom they can talk with for hours, yet when parting ways, there’s still so much to say!” she writes. Fingers crossed, I think, I am three times lucky.

I have always had / made good friends and bonding was never a hiccup, since my childhood. Breaking the ice was an easy task for me and then on, it went as a cakewalk. Now, as in, in my early thirties, the rush was volatile and fluctuating strangely. I was longing for a bond but not continue or survive it. It felt very necessary sometimes and very unnecessary otherwise. I wanted to be pampered but was not able to accept it. I became clumsy but could not a face it.

I desperately needed a godfather.

I needed emotional support, carrier guidance and a friendly shoulder to lean upon and forget my aging.

This was when I found one attractive charisma at work. It was very inviting to be a part of the glow and indeed interesting to be a part of the positive aura. We bonded very quickly.

There came another positive figure into the limelight that the ‘attractive charisma’ pointed to. The ‘Positive figure’ never showed the pressure on its shoulders to the world that it ruled.

Then, there came in another cool buddy, who had already started marching towards most IT people’s dream. He strived hard for his dream and kept the trend’s pace on its heels.



Three people. SG, AR and J.



Thanks guys! For turning me into what I am today.

You are the source of my positivity and the reason behind my smile. You taught me what it is to live and not just count days. You shouldered when I needed the grip and let me free when I needed the space. You tamed me and made me ready for the next phase of my life and career. You have cultivated in me good things that I never possessed. You made me see what all good I had and to love my family and my love, unconditionally. You made me smile and accept well than what I used to. Your guidance and suggestions always worked wonders in my case.

@J, thanks for accepting me into your family and for your career guidance and life suggestions. You and R are always welcomed at our home.

@AR, thanks buddy. Things you have done, they mean a lot. You will be missed way too much. Especially on skype.

Last but not the least,

@SG, all that I am, is owed at your feet.


Will miss you all!



Lots of luv,
Hema