Because.. She still lives in me

My eyes stayed stuck to the key chain... Her name was imprinted on it...

My throat and ears hurt. I put it back in the draw and walked out of the room - A sign of incapacity to handle my emotional tremble. A wry smile played over my lips.

I locked my room and started to office. I moved close to my bike – Her image flashed in the back seat. I felt my heart skip a beat. I kicked my bike to start unable to kick her thoughts out. My heart and eyes still heavy with her memory.

My thoughts crawled:



It has been a few months since I met her. I did undergo the stage of depression and loneliness initially...

- unable to sleep
- unable to concentrate at work
- unable to mingle with friends
- unable to listen to songs
- unable to watch TV
- unable to participate in celebrations
- unable to get along with parents
- unable to accept the vacuum
- Actually - unable to let her go off my mind

It was all because of her. Because...

She was not a part of my life but she was it and made it worth and meaningful.

She did not add flavour to my life but she was the actual taste of it.

She did not love me but made me feel what love was.

She did not live with me but made me live life.

She just asked me one thing – to convince my parents for their marriage. I failed in the mission. Thanks to my dad and his ego. I ended up being alone – orphaned by fate – devoid of life in life.

But now things are not showing up. But the wound is not yet healed. The pain is invisible but is still alive.

Moving through the road everyday, my eyes always scan trying to find a location which does not remind me of her.

Every single smile, every single flower, every single drop of water, every single bike ride, every single night, every single song, everything reminds me of her.

She dominates me, my daily schedule, my life, my thoughts, my memories - my everything.

Because... She still lives in me...