Sunrise

This night is going to be pretty short for us – Hari and me.

Saturday nights are usually extended ones as we have the following day to rest. But this plan was devised only post dinner. We had to leave very early next morning, around 4:30 AM and now, it was already 11.30 PM. We hardly had 5 hours to sleep.

Being working professionals, both of us do not have enough time to sleep and share our thoughts. As Hari works in the second shift and at a distant location, he reaches home only close to midnight. So, sleeping is the only agenda for our weekends but even then, we end up somewhere else doing something else.

It had always been a fascination for us to spend time with the nature. For vacation, if given a choice, we would obviously prefer the nature-oriented destinations like beaches and parks where the environment is clean and serene rather than hi-fi shopping malls and power packed movies.

We had to choose – Sleep or Nature?

We weren’t very sure if we would wake up the next morning but we decided to sleep then. The alarm woke us up at 4:15 AM. We had a small conversation just then.

“What do we do?”
“I’m confused.”
“Me too!”

There was a brief silence. The second alarm rang – 4:17 AM.

“Chalo, let’s go.”

Hari said and sprang out of the bed within seconds. I was shocked. When getting up at 7:30 AM, to leave for work took him 20 more minutes to get out of the bed, it was indeed a great surprise for me to see him so energetic and decisive in such an early morning.

We refreshed ourselves and left home by 4:45 AM. We were sure that the one hour drive is going to be pretty smooth.

Destination: Marina beach.
Time: 5:40 AM.

We parked our vehicle and started walking towards the waves. It was the first time for both of us to see the beach in the morning. We walked slowly through the ivory colored granules. We sat close to the waves and watched.

The horizon started to color itself in bright orange. The clouds moved in steady pace. The breeze was soothing. The crabs crawled in and out of their holes. The crows and pigeons kept attempting for their breakfast. The waves rose and fell with vigor. Every wave caused bubbles from the crab holes.

The clock ticked 6. Now the sky was brighter.

Out of curiosity, we stood up, held hands and walked a few more steps towards the water. Shallow waves dodged our feet. The birds welcomed the day with their chirps. The horizon was now painted fully in bright yellow and orange. The clear blue sky contrasted the color. The clouds were nowhere seen.

Right at the middle of this huge volume of blue water mass, he peeped out strong and bright, indicating a brand new day.

Sunrise at the Marina beach.

Gender Policing

Wiki reads Gender Policing as: Enforcement of normative gender expressions on an individual who is perceived as not adequately performing, through appearance or behavior.

Gender Policing has steadied its roots in us; our views; and the society. It has grown along with us and now has become our norm!

What happens when a girl in her teen tells her parents that she wants to join her school sports team?
She will be instantly suggested to join art classes.
Why so? Because, Girls are supposed to prefer arts.

What happens when a guy cries?
He will be consoled saying: ‘Don’t cry. Be a man!’
Why so? Because, Guys are supposed to be strong.

Where does this “Supposed to be” analysis come from? Why does this generalization happen? Where does it start? Why can’t a girl join and excel in sports and martial arts? Why can’t a guy shed tears?

Does this policing stop with hobbies, likes and studies? No, it does not. It has its roots penetrated deep into our customs, traditions and social views.

A girl is supposed to be back at home before it is dark. A guy is supposed to earn and be the bread winner of the family. A girl cannot work in night shifts. A guy must have a great job and salary. A girl is supposed to cover herself up. A guy is supposed to be strong, dominant and decisive. A girl is supposed to take care of the household chores. A guy is supposed to keep himself away from the chores. A girl is supposed to get married at the age of 25; a guy at 30.

A girl must have long hair; drape a saree; wear jewelry; put on heels; visit the parlor. She is supposed to be girl-ish. Why can’t she have short hair, wear jeans, put on floaters and go on a road trip? Same is the case for guys.

We might have a justification for all these statements, in the name of safety, prevention, traditions etc. But the basis of all these is “Gender Policing”.

Are we in a healthy environment with all these “Supposed to be” statements?

When change is the only thing that doesn’t change, why are there so many previously arrived at conclusions? When the inputs differ, the outputs will obviously. In the current trend, there are so many changes in the way girls and guys brought up and hence the way they mingle and live in the society will also differ.

When gender is just an attribute of an individual; only when girls and guys are able to see each other as co-existing human beings with individuality, a society devoid of policing will emerge.


It is a journey of a million steps or more. But let us swear to take the very first step at home!