Gender Policing

Wiki reads Gender Policing as: Enforcement of normative gender expressions on an individual who is perceived as not adequately performing, through appearance or behavior.

Gender Policing has steadied its roots in us; our views; and the society. It has grown along with us and now has become our norm!

What happens when a girl in her teen tells her parents that she wants to join her school sports team?
She will be instantly suggested to join art classes.
Why so? Because, Girls are supposed to prefer arts.

What happens when a guy cries?
He will be consoled saying: ‘Don’t cry. Be a man!’
Why so? Because, Guys are supposed to be strong.

Where does this “Supposed to be” analysis come from? Why does this generalization happen? Where does it start? Why can’t a girl join and excel in sports and martial arts? Why can’t a guy shed tears?

Does this policing stop with hobbies, likes and studies? No, it does not. It has its roots penetrated deep into our customs, traditions and social views.

A girl is supposed to be back at home before it is dark. A guy is supposed to earn and be the bread winner of the family. A girl cannot work in night shifts. A guy must have a great job and salary. A girl is supposed to cover herself up. A guy is supposed to be strong, dominant and decisive. A girl is supposed to take care of the household chores. A guy is supposed to keep himself away from the chores. A girl is supposed to get married at the age of 25; a guy at 30.

A girl must have long hair; drape a saree; wear jewelry; put on heels; visit the parlor. She is supposed to be girl-ish. Why can’t she have short hair, wear jeans, put on floaters and go on a road trip? Same is the case for guys.

We might have a justification for all these statements, in the name of safety, prevention, traditions etc. But the basis of all these is “Gender Policing”.

Are we in a healthy environment with all these “Supposed to be” statements?

When change is the only thing that doesn’t change, why are there so many previously arrived at conclusions? When the inputs differ, the outputs will obviously. In the current trend, there are so many changes in the way girls and guys brought up and hence the way they mingle and live in the society will also differ.

When gender is just an attribute of an individual; only when girls and guys are able to see each other as co-existing human beings with individuality, a society devoid of policing will emerge.


It is a journey of a million steps or more. But let us swear to take the very first step at home!