Gender Equality

We have been hearing phrases relating to gender equality very frequently at least in the near past. When did this inequality probe into our society? To make the question above more descriptive and attractive, when did it become a necessity for Eves to cover their bodies, when Adam and Eve were actually depicted naked in the ancient mythology?

There would have been a stage in our ancient civilizations where people hardly knew the term ‘inequality’. Men and women would have shared responsibility equally and the society flourishing with moral values and family bondage. The values flowed down the lineage imparting the goodness in every new addition to it.

Slowly, the male section of the society started to dominate and take advantage of the female section. The female section, obviously being physically weak and not very exposed to external / social changes and views started to depend on the male section. This gave the male more reasons to dominate. This domination should have been a positive one – trying to guide the weaker section, imparting knowledge and pulling them to an acceptably equal stage. But, it wasn’t so.

Rules, regulations and practices would have come into existence in the ancient years to make the living more meaningful and easy. I’m very sure that ancient human beings wouldn't have been so mean at heart.

Dowry system should have existed even in the very old years but it would have been from both sides (that is what I presume). The exchange must have come into existence for keeping the wealth in rotation within the society. But it changed as something that is to be given from the bride’s side.

Treating the groom as the savior of the family was perfect then because he used to be the bread winner of the family. He would be the one physically eligible to face any adverse condition. He would have been the intellectual source for the new family as he would have pursued more social knowledge and exposure. But dominating based on this idea pressured the women to ‘serve’ the men in the family even if they weren’t happy about it.

Emphasis on the male views and ideas started increasing exponentially, dropping the importance of female to lower levels. This dominating attitude pushed the so called weaker sex deeper into the darkness of insecurity, ignorance and humility. Girl babies were looked down as expenditure for the family leading to feticide and disproportionate male VS female counts. The female section just existed in the society for the sake of it but had no exposure to knowledge and enlightenment. They were grown up in the same mindset; they grew up to be blind followers of whatever was preached to them. They accepted it with no questions or arguments. Thanks to the male chauvinists!

In the current generation, perceptions and views are changing slowly. There are talks and demonstrations actively happening due to the initiatives taken by volunteers who speak for this equality. But are these fights true? Are these volunteers and trend setters working truly for the equality? How far have these fights and talks penetrated into the society? At their own homes?

Charity begins at home; so does social changes. It is easier to implement a change at home because it revolves around people who are emotionally involved with each other. Everyone can understand statements easily when quoted in reference with their family members.
What is happening to the female section at our homes?

If the female isn’t a working professional, she would slog her days trying to meet the family expectations, doing all the household chores, helping the seniors in the family in each and every thing, trying to put up a good show. If she is a working professional, she would rush through whatever she could (in most cases that would be more than what was done till then) and rush to office (in delay), putting her career interests behind. When the former faces more stings and words from the family, the latter gets lesser but similar stings from the family and her official counterparts.

As a part of our customs and traditions, the bride stays with her in-laws. As I have made that statement, I immediately get the question why should the girl be separated from her parents? If it is for building up a stronger bond with her husband, then the guy should also be away from his parents, so that the bond is strong at both the ends. If staying in a joint family is the custom, then the girl’s parents and the guy’s parents should live together or at least in always reachable distance so that the couple gets to spend equal time with both the families. Only then both the families are bound equally. We will be able to argue on many more points similar to that. But let us get back to our topic.

When the girl stays with her in laws, there would be frictions. If there is none, then it means that somebody is faking the relationship. It is very genuine to have difference of opinions, because everyone is different and have different perceptions. The girl is well educated, exposed to social changes and is very much self-aware. She was grown up like any other male. She is not too dependent on the male section at least not like the previous generation women. She has her own mindset, views, perceptions, likes and dislikes.

But when she interacts with her older in laws, she is actually trying to mingle with the previous generation. They have very different views on marriage bonds.

- They expect very visible respect and obedience.
- They will want a girl to treat their son / any male as a savior. But for the girl who is capably independent, it won’t fit.
- The girl will want her self respect and esteem to be untouched.
- She would respect her husband but maybe she will want to address him by his name just out of love.
- She would respect her in laws too. But will want equal respect for herself.

When she takes effort to do something, anything for that matter, she would expect everyone in the family to contribute for getting it done. She will not be ready to accept visual inequality in the name of gender. Acceptable, if the members (young or old) are not capable (physically or mentally), if otherwise she would not tolerate it at all. Absolutely no. When she contributes to all the aspects of living, starting from chores to risky or confidential decision making, she will obviously want the men to help her.

The older women are so much used to this inequality that they follow it blindly. But for the new girl, everything is new; starting from the people to practices. So, we cannot blame both of them. The entire responsibility belongs to the current generation men. They are the actual trend setters and game changers. They are aware of both the sides of the coin. They are educated and aware of the social trends. They must be capable enough to set things right for all the women at home. This will not only help the current generation girls, but also the previous which include their mothers too.

Everything is everybody’s when it comes to a family. There need not be any gender policing in the deeds. Everyone should be active and proactive. Most important of all, every member must be self-sufficient but stay dependent on the family. They must be ready to pick up and do anything as per the need of the hour. Inexperience in implementation can be overcome by timely suggestions and advice from the experienced group. Once the gender policing dilutes, equality will start establishing itself, strongly and deeply.


A historic change begins with a small revolutionary thought.
The thought has emerged; The massive change??