Life hadn’t been very great in my new career opportunity due to various reasons. Even after completing about 10 months in my current project, I did not feel comfortable about asking my doubts to anyone in the team. I thought I was over rated to be a part of this project. This project had been up and running from 2003 and have hands of more than 100 developers in my team alone! It has a well built framework, coding standards, utilities and what not. But I was not able to make the big picture out of it; neither business nor technology.
Then, there this person who is supposed to be my manager. Let us address him as AB. He is the perfect manager any higher management will want. He is technical and has managerial skills too. But the problem is when the manager part of him takes more emphasis on everyday activities. He is capable of making the person feel like a disaster just after a meeting of 5mins. End of the chat, all that you will want to do is either run away from there or sue him for what had happened then.
Facing such a “different” manager, is a person like me, who is struggling to get hold of a single strand of project knowledge. Everyday, I would end up explaining what I had done and why rather than how. When 5 minutes of his talk sufficient to stab someone’s confidence at its heart and shatter it down to pieces, I was getting regular dose of it everyday.
At one point, I had become a person who shivers at his voice and sweats like a pig. There were days when I used to fake health reasons and run away from work and hide myself in darkness, either in the washroom or in a theatre. All I would want then, was a feeling that none would see me. I ended up losing the last droplet of confidence in me, which I had struggled and built over 7yrs or career exposure. Thanks to AB!
One fine day, I decided to talk to this person in my project, who is a senior and is someone who looked approachable from day one. Let’s address him as SG. I wanted to know if I should resign immediately or wait for completion of 1 year or ask for a project release. He was the one who had taken my 1st induction and seemed to have won my trust instantly. Not sure how!
I have always liked SG without a reason from day I met him during the induction. He was charismatic and radiated positivity. He moved comfortably with everyone in the team and was techy too. He has a fresh laugh and a hint of optimism in every move of his. Ah, he was like sunshine on a gloomy day. When I was dooming with negativity, he was a literal opposite. Though we hadn’t spoken much, except for once, when I couldn’t stop myself from complimenting him while he was inducting a new joiner, I decided to talk to him about my state of mind!
I requested his time to have a conversation for which he offered to do it the following day, in the forenoon. Not knowing the impact the conversation, was going to cause, I reached work that day and was waiting for SG. He walked into the bay with utmost grace and masculinity. He was a man to be wowed at for everything in him, I thought. Though I actually knew nothing…
He apologized for the slight delay and then suggested to move out of the tech bay. It was my 1st day in 10months to walk out of the ODC on a non business purpose!
After settling down in the food court, I opened up my mental state to him. He rendered his ears and listened to every single word of mine. He was casual and at the same time attentive to my words. I couldn’t stop myself from dumping all that was running in my mind and also a few tears. When I looked up, I could sense that, he was troubled…
What he said or suggested or advised that day is the reason why I’m still with my company. Else, I would have either resigned or moved to a different company. He not only suggested ways and means to handle AB but also counselled me about life, career and priorities.
Day in day out, I started to implement his suggestions at work and it did enhance my state. He didn’t forget to check on me regularly and made sure I was fine. He did care! He made me feel comfortable at work and more than that, he didn’t forget to inject daily dosage of optimism in me which repelled the dark poison called lack-of-confidence.
As days passed on, we became pals. We evolved from colleagues to very good friends. We could sense the rhythm of the relationship setting so well. We understood that, we did belong to the familiar feeling of being wanted and had emotional similarities in the relationship perspective. Our lives synced up so well and were able to read each's mind. We shivered a number of times trying to feel that, the journey of how the bond grew, was miraculous!
People come into your life for a reason. It could be for good; it could be impactful; it could be inspiring; it could be the need of the hour…
When all the above reasons are present… that is when life takes a 180° turn!
I’m not sure why I decided to talk to SG.
I'm not sure why AB was such a manager.
I don’t know why I liked SG from day one.
I don’t know why I chose my current company.
I don’t know why SG survived for 8+ yrs here.
I can’t understand how we sync-ed so well.
Not sure at all, how we got real comfortable with each other.
Awestruck!!!
Life is a surely, a series of mysteries. One instance leads to another and it opens up doors to various experiences. Every experience leaves an impact and they teach and help us in evolving. We never know why something happens until we understand that it was a by-product of something else of the past or a prelude of something of the future...
Dear life,
Thank you is a small word for what you have given me…
What I’m now, I owe it all to you!
Looking forward to more surprises!
Yours,
Forever New Intern,
Life Institute.
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