I'm a bad mother

I'm a bad mother. 

I'm bad because, I try to discipline my son. 

I'm bad because, I try to tap his energy into something. 

I'm bad because, I push him a bit more to get things done. 

I'm bad because, he got tooth cavity. 

I'm bad because, he is dark skinned. 

I'm bad because, I try to make him study for an hour a day. 

I'm bad because, I try to time what he has to do. 

I'm bad because, I'm strict with my rules. 

I'm bad because, I want him to hit the bed at 9.30pm.

I'm bad because, I wake him up by 8:45am. 

I'm bad because, I feed him lunch even if he says no. 

I'm bad because, I compel him to have vegetables. 

I'm bad because, I make sure he brushes his teeth atleast twice a day. 

I'm bad because, I don't let him eat chocolates or packed drinks. 

I'm bad because, I deny any kind of junk food. 

I'm bad because I ask him to draw for 45mins in the day. 

I'm bad because, I ask him not to sip from everyone's cup. 

I'm bad because, I ask him to do potty in the morning. 

I'm  bad because, I ask him to revise his subjects for 1hr a day. 

I'm bad because, I restrict his screen time to an uninterrupted 1hr a day. 

I'm bad because, I want him to sleep with me. 

I'm bad because, I want to narrate a story or a rhyme to him in the night. 

I'm bad because, I want to wake up looking at him. 

I'm bad because, I make him repeat hymns for competitions. 

I'm bad because, I am trying to expose him to something that I never got. 

I'm bad because, I'm a insecured mother. 

I'm bad because, I'm not what they want me to be. 

I'm bad because, I'm lost between what I want me to be and what I am. 

I'm confused about how big of a disaster I am...